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Funny Baby Ecard: The government is NOT your babies daddy. So get a job or don't have kids if you can't afford it on your own!

You my dear, are the Muthafuckin Shit.

When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a Punishment. Now as a Mom, Nap Time Feels like I Won a Vacation!

If people could refrain from acting stupid or saying stupid things, maybe people wouldn't call them stupid?!

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew. i call so many people stupid

Funny Confession Ecard: The Pity Train has just derailed at the corner of Suck It Up & Move On, and crashed into We All Have Problems, before coming to a stop at Get The Hell Over It.

Haha, sarcastic inspiration: "The Pity Train has just derailed at the corner of Suck It Up & Move On, and crashed into We All Have Problems, before coming to a stop at Get The Hell Over It"

So me right now. I honestly don't know how I pull it off. lol.

I stay in shape by doing yoga two or three times a week. And by "doing yoga" I really mean shaving my legs - This is exactly how I feel!

Funny Wedding Ecard: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown man child who cant take care of himself.

This made me giggle! Funny Wedding Ecard: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown man child who cant take care of himself.

Kill them with kindness... And then fart as you walk away.

Kill them with kindness. And then fart as you walk away. So reminds me of my…

When I'm old(er) ... I'm not going to sit around knitting ... I'm going to  .... http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/73/e1/50/73e1507052dc0485ffefa78e5c08d1b4.jpg

When I get old, I'm not going to sit around knitting. I'm going to be clicking my Life Alert button to see how many hot firefighters show up!

OMG!!! I am dying laughing!!!!! Hold on the oven timer just went off ;)

Funny Thinking of You Ecard: I hope you like my new unique recipe. They're called Shut The Fucupcakes. This is Awesome!

I want to weigh what I told the DMV I weigh

My Fitness goal. this year I was like, let's be realistic, and I put my current weight, which I'm now currently 10 lbs under so my license makes me look like a fatty.

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