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I'm going to let these pans soak. Otherwise known as, I don't feel like doing the dishes!

I am not anxious. I am just extremely well educated about all the things that can go catastrophically wrong.

I'd love to talk but I'm in a hurry to get home so I can be alone.

Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things.

People, people...are you laughing? I am because I would LOVE to say this to a few people I know. I don't think I would ever conjure up the nerve though.

Funny Cry for Help Ecard: Actually I'm pretty sure chocolate tastes as good as skinny feels.

If I were to have three wishes, one would be to make everything on my Pinterest boards exist in my life. The other two would be unnecessary.

Pinterest is really just electronic hoarding.

Just relized that way too many of my converstations begin with, 'I saw this thing on Pinterest...' Can I get amen?

some people need to be made aware of this... @jessicajones this made me think of you "cover to rolls on rolls!!!!"

So many of these are my exact humor, you'd think I wrote them. This is hilarious!