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You don’t understand mom - Lizzie (But, Sweetie, if you have light up shoes on your feet the police will be able to find you when it is dark!!) - Mom But mom, I will be so fast they wont see me- Sincerely, your light up shoes deprived kid

This is LITERALLY why me and Jeremy work so well. He is my amazing, selfless man.

Whatever it is that I did to make you hate me, I'd really like to know. I have other people I can use that on.

want me to call you a wambulance? haha love modern family! I wish I could post this on someone's wall at work! Such a whiner and I can't take it!!

This guy gets me. There's a a point in time when you reach a certain age when you just feel like not having plans sounds 100 times better than going out. For me this feeling hit at age 18. And I have no shame in it.

Like the time when that lady was giving a presentation at work and said the word PENATRATION 800 times.

This will be me next week. So if you just see me lying on the floor... you know why.

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The best celebrity encounters…Carlton cracked me up! And the best part is, I think he's at the Richmond Diamond!