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Patient: the problem is obesity runs in our family. Doctor: no, the problem is that no one runs in your family.

its true. in fact i try having full blown conversations with my husband as he tried to fall asleep

yep, i should keep a pad and pen next to my bed so i can remember it in the morning

Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.

Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool. So true!

I laughed way too much at this...

Garden Shop Sign: "It's Spring! We are so excited we wet our plants!" Gail too funny.I all most wet my plants!

mosquitoes funny quote

If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. Wouldn't that be great?

I'm a woman, hear me roar.

Logical proof that female = Iron Man! Then that means. Iron Man is a female?

Cara Delevingne @caradelevingne Instagram photos | Websta

Cara Delevingne(@caradelevingne) - Instagram photos and videos

Disney land left funny quotes quote lol funny quote funny quote humor (but mean because I'm blonde!

So true

If that is the definition of a real woman then I must definitely be a man!

Parenting like a boss

Parenting like a boss via

parenting - not beating your children, but make them wear crocs and justin bieber clothes so that the kids at school will do it instead

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