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I knew a priest who would self-exorcise his demons from time to time. His demons were tequila and vodka and the exorcism was into the toilet, but same intention.

Singing to a song you don't really know.. But that 15 second part you do know is coming and your gonna own that shit.

I don't have a "Honey-Do" list... I have an "I'll-Do-It-My- Fucking-Self" list! And surprise! The shit gets done!

Funny Thinking of You Ecard: I hope you like my new unique recipe. They're called Shut The Fucupcakes. This is Awesome! LMAO!

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that.

A douche bag of your magnitude could cleanse a whale's vagina. | Thinking Of You Ecard | - via

Don't let people push you around. Unless it's in a wagon or something, because that could be fun.