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it's five o'clock somewhere, but it's three o'clock here and i want to die - Google Search

it's five o'clock somewhere, but it's three o'clock here and i want to die - Google Search

I love you so much. Except when you snore and then I just want to punch you in the face.

I love you so much. Except when you snore and then I just want to punch you in the face.

Asking how my day at work went is like asking how a drive-by shooting went... I'm just lucky I got out alive!

Asking how my day at work went is like asking how a drive-by shooting went... I'm just lucky I got out alive!

At my funeral, when they're lowering me into the ground, I demand they play.. 'Drop it like it's hot'.

At my funeral, when they're lowering me into the ground, I demand they play.. 'Drop it like it's hot'.

No sir I said pirate ship - http://jokideo.com/no-sir-i-said-pirate-ship/

No sir I said pirate ship - http://jokideo.com/no-sir-i-said-pirate-ship/

Funny Cry for Help Ecard: Oh, you want to lose 3 lbs for bikini season? I had to eat raw carrots for lunch just to squeeze back into my fat jeans. WALK AWAY.

Funny Cry for Help Ecard: Oh, you want to lose 3 lbs for bikini season? I had to eat raw carrots for lunch just to squeeze back into my fat jeans. WALK AWAY.

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