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I'm a sloppy, paranoid genius.

I'm a sloppy, paranoid genius.

hmm, I think I’m gonna go with the Spanish soccer/football team

Funny Sports Ecard: You know what I would do in the Olympics? The US Men's Swim Team.

i don't know why everyone keeps saying they're trying to bring sexy back when i'm right here I never  even left.

Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: I don't know why everyone keeps saying they're trying to bring sexy back when I'm right here.

Life isn't a fairytale. If you lose your shoe at midnight you might want to slow down on the tequila.

Funny Drinking Ecard: Life isn't a fairytale. If you lose your shoe at midnight you might want to slow down on the tequila.

Gotta do it soon @Emily Schoenfeld Schoenfeld Weichman

{'I'd like a Diet Coke please.' 'Is Diet Pepsi okay?' 'Is Monoply money okay?'} My feelings exactly

My Glass Needs More Wine - http://funnypicturequotes.com/my-glass-needs-more-wine/ #winememes #WineWednesday

My Glass Needs More Wine - http://funnypicturequotes.com/my-glass-needs-more-wine/ #winememes #WineWednesday

Yes, i'll take one scoop of "my diet starts tomorrow"

I'm going to open an ice cream shop and name the flavors things like: dont be sad, he's not worth it, you deserve better. That would be awesome!

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Encouragement Ecard: Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves for we shall never cease to be amused.

Italian girl problems :/

Not really funny so much as it is true - My life is a constant battle between my love of food and not wanting to (be) fat.

After my shower today I laid in bed for hours, naked of course. It was simply fantastic.

No matter the question, wine IS the answer.

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