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Trust me when I woke up today I had no plans to be brilliant but shit happens.

Remember this if you thing I'm being rude by not having "fun" like everyone else. If I don't have something nice to say, I don't say anything.

I don't understand how some women have 20 plus bridesmaids. I don't even like that many people. | Wedding Ecard | someecards.com

and I am sure the bride with 20 bridesmaids doesn't have 20 real girlfriends

You heard it here first.

made me laugh "I’m intimidating" ya right

I’m looking at you, two-year-olds. P.S. More comics.

Made Me Laugh

Youre making it difficult for me to be the parent I always imagined I would be.lol so true some days

Yep.

Funny Flirting Ecard: If you're talking behind my back. you're in a real good position to kiss my ass.

Omg!!! If only ppl could read my mind sometimes. I know everyone has at least one person they feel this way about!!! Haha

Thanks for reminding me why I don't feel guilty that I can't stand you. Hmmmmm, this reminds me of someone.

I really don't have time for people who don't find me hilarious.

“I really don’t have time for people who don’t find me hilarious”

Funny Wedding Ecard: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown man child who cant take care of himself.

This made me giggle! Funny Wedding Ecard: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown man child who cant take care of himself.

Well....maybe the fourth 😂 with a side of bacon 😉

Just kidding I'm on my cupcake. Just kidding I hate cupcakes. Just kidding I live for cupcakes. Just kidding I live for veggies. Just kidding veggies make me sick. Just kidding millennials make me sick.

I think I say this on a daily basis.

hahah(reminds me of the ew Jimmy Fallon skit- soo funny!

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