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Funny Confession Ecard: I feel fat today. And to make myself feel better, I will eat this cake. Yes. Good plan.

I'm right 98% of the time. The other 3% is when I have to solve math problems.

Gotta do what you gotta do. Lacey McKay McKay McKay Schroder

yep @Allie Asensio or i might also answer the front door with no pants on....

I want to say this at work so often.

I don’t know if I’m hungry, but I’m going to eat anyway… just in case. | Confession Ecard | someecards.com

Fast fact: Actually, linguistically speaking, that 'g' is the reason it's pronounced "lasan-ya", so it's not useless at all. It's Italian, y'all. :) ...I should probably pin these things to my secret snark board and shut up. ha.

This is entirely too true for me.. It's sad really

I miss being the age when I thought I'd have my shit together by the time I was the age I am now.

Don't you hate when you're going down the steps, and you forget about the last one? It's like...HELLO...you just had a 7 inch heart attack.

Thank you for all of your hard work. We are going to reward you by giving you other people's work to finish.