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Sad, but true

Haha totally me and cait we hate socializing with people we tend to try to avoid.

Some songs awaken my inner stripper. Mmmm-hmm, that's right!

"Some songs awaken my inner stripper." [ ALL songs awaken Miley Cyus' inner stripper.

Gallon bottles

This is me. I feel guilty about it so I water our grass. I'm cleaning out my car in case anyone needs 27 half empty bottles of water

Funny T-shirts & Tank Tops for Everyday Wear. Soft & Stylish.

Soft & Stylish T-shirts for Everyday Wear by EvertreeClothing

More funny free online cards for narcissistic, sarcastic, drunks. Bluntcard.com

"People say you're a bitch, but I think you have a charming personality." ~ "That's because you're a bigger bitch than I am.

You think I'm joking...

I hate the part of the morning where I have to get out of bed and participate in real life. Sounds like my daughter.

This just nails it - doesn't it?

For real. There is something built into me to wake up at the smallest sound. My husband could sleep through a tornado. And Baby sucks at sleeping.

That Awkward Moment when someone asks you what's wrong and they are the problem!

I hate this happens. That awkward moment when someone asks what's wrong when they're the problem.

Your minivan had me under the impression you were wild & single

That made me laugh once I got it! It took me a second after I read it then I finally pictured the stick figure family car window things!