"Jeremiah you will seek me and find me when you search for Me with all of your heart." [a woman in comfortable clothes who is standing in an open gateway and gazing out at the water on a cloudy chill day - meeting up with God]
Once you have truly felt the pain of your past and accepted the feeling that makes you think you can't hold on anymore you can then feel that tiny shred of strength to pick yourself and move on. Don't revisit it, don't use it as an excuse. Just move on.