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Not as sneaky as Christmas which manages to surprise me while lurking on the same date every year.

Not as sneaky as Christmas which manages to surprise me while lurking on the same date every year.

My heart says cheese dip, but my jeans say, for the love of God woman eat some celery! | Cry For Help Ecard

My heart says cheese dip, but my jeans say, for the love of God woman eat some celery! | Cry For Help Ecard

It just isn't Christmas unless you push your body to the brink of alcholism and diabetes.

It just isn't Christmas unless you push your body to the brink of alcholism and diabetes.

Couldnt be more true! - Click image to find more Humor Pinterest pins

Couldnt be more true! - Click image to find more Humor Pinterest pins

Funny Cry for Help Ecard: Turns out all my Pinterest clothes only look good on those skinny hookers in the pictures. Let's go get a cookie.

Funny Cry for Help Ecard: Turns out all my Pinterest clothes only look good on those skinny hookers in the pictures. Let's go get a cookie.

Funny Confession Ecard: I'm not a stalker, I just like to secretly take pictures of people with my iPhone so I can text them to my friend and have a good laugh.

Funny Confession Ecard: I'm not a stalker, I just like to secretly take pictures of people with my iPhone so I can text them to my friend and have a good laugh.

I hate when skinny people call themselves fat just to get compliments. Bitch just shut up and eat that sandwich.

I hate when skinny people call themselves fat just to get compliments. Bitch just shut up and eat that sandwich.

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