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I just saw her picture on facebook, she looks like something I draw with my left hand.

This might be my favorite insult ever. Except my friend might not laugh. she's left handed and draws pretty darn well.

Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a retard in foil.

Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a retard in tin foil. --- Can I get an amen?

Babies vs Sleep & Money

Free and Funny Baby Ecard: What's that? You're having a baby?I'm going to continue enjoying sleeping through the night and spending my money on myself

I've decided to add 'extensive experience in dealing with stupid people' to my resume. That has got to be a marketable skill!!

Funny Confession Ecard: I've decided to add 'extensive experience in dealing with stupid people' to my resume. That has got to be a marketable skill!

On a scale of 1 to 10, how serious are they when it says "do NOT drink alcohol while taking this medicine"?

Funny Confession Ecard: On a scale of 1 to how serious are they when it says. 'do NOT drink alcohol while taking this medicine'?

I wonder if they'd let you off the hook ...

Funny Workplace Ecard: If you ever get caught sleeping on the job.slowly raise your head and say 'in Jesus name amen.

Dieting is when you eat food that makes you sad. | Confession Ecard | someecards.com

I no longer feel this way. I don't feel like I am on a diet and if I am, well then, Dieting is when you eat food that makes you glad!

This made me laugh out loud

You know it's time for a pedicure when you can exfoliate one foot with the other one - LOL! We say, keep feet feeling silky smooth in between pedicures with the Qtica Intense Overnight Foot Repair Balm

You n me...

Free, Friendship Ecard: If you were a dinosaur you'd be a bitch-a-whoreus.

faster than the speed of light

Funny Confession Ecard: Nothing faster than the speed of light. Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from a photo that makes her look fat. There really is an ecard for that!

Always there for me...@hollye

I don't often talk shit about people and if I do its usually things I've said to their face but it still would be GREAT to have a friend like this! Who's signing up to be that friend?

Instead of replying to her rude comments, I highlighted all her grammatical and spelling errors and sent back a note saying, 'Bitch, I can't read this, try again.'

Free and Funny News Ecard: Instead of replying to her rude comments, I highlighted all her grammatical and spelling errors and sent back a note saying,

Oh that is cute...

SO TRUE! Parents please start being parents. This world is full of selfish people and kids thinking they are entitled to EVERYTHING! If you are going to have kids, then be the parent, not the friend!

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