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Raisin oatmeal cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues.

I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, but if you continue to scream like that I'm going to act like I don't know you.

No Soliciting sign...would add and of you ring my door bell and wake a kid you will be met with a shot gun!

Excluding my boss, who goes running during our lunch hour when it's blazing outside, and claims to love it..

someecards.com - I live in my pajamas unless I am going somewhere or I know someone is about to come over to my house. Even then it's iffy.

Funny Anniversary Ecard: Being married is like having a best friend who doesn't remember anything you say.

i never thought grocery shopping would be a vaca..but, alone, it is!

It's gotten to the point where I am working here to pay for the prescriptions I now require to cope with working here.