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For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blamelessin his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will. - Ephesians 1:4-5
Sometimes "real" is our desire for a particular and preferred frame of reference to materialize. Our expectations may cause us to spend years believing the frame will be realized only because we once had it and want it again. Real is when we cease to wait for something to frame up. Waiting =/= Living. ~Zest of Life
What difficult thing(s) have you had to let go of? What helped, or would have helped, make it a little easier? You thought is was real; and it was real at that time. Be gentle with yourself.