Explore I Don't Always, Totally Me, and more!

True story

Story of my life! And since my phone spends like of the time on silent, I lose it pretty often!

I was dropped as a baby, into a pool of awesomeness and glitter.

Funny Confession Ecard: I was dropped as a baby, into a pool of awesomeness and glitter.

I Like Bearded Men - Limited edition. Order 2 or more for friends/family & save on shipping! Makes a great gift!

I Like Bearded Men

Discover I Like Bearded Men Women's Tank Top, a custom product made just for you by Teespring. With world-class production and customer support, your satisfaction is guaranteed. - Pogonophile Someone Who Is Fond Of A Beard.

Everyday!

DAMN YOU Pinterest! I have shit TO DO.

I certainly thought this about someone before. However, for the past couple of years, I've been completely content that they were that way because if they weren't, I wouldn't currently have the life I have always wanted with the perfect man for me! <3

Free, Reminders Ecard: You should come with a warning label: "I am a lying, cheating dickwad and I intend to take advantage of your kind heart"

Yuck, I have almost broken my neck trying to flush with my foot.

Public toilet = flush with foot. I always use my foot to flush ALWAyS in public bathrooms

This one GOES OUT TO ALL THE PARENTS IN CHICAGO....who think that NO ONE ELSE HAS A RIGHT FOR THEMSELVES OR THEIR FAMILIES

How to “Spoil” Children the Right Way

SO TRUE! Parents please start being parents. This world is full of selfish people and kids thinking they are entitled to EVERYTHING! If you are going to have kids, then be the parent, not the friend!

For real!

Free and Funny Farewell Ecard: I'll be damned if after the 5 longest minutes of my life, I'm going to

OH, how I grow tired of this. A few people on my friends list are SUPER guilty. Is your life THAT bad?

LOL I always feel silly sending the second text because I know the other person knows what I'm saying but I'm too OCDish not to. :(

HAHAHA - this is a pet peeve of mine. unless i/you totally screwed up the wording there is no need to resend the correct spelling.

hahahahaha!

Free and Funny Flirting Ecard: My heart has no room for you but the trunk of my car definitely does

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