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I am fluent in three languages.English, Sarcasm, and Profanity. Funny Sayings and Pictures: The Languages I Speak ('Funny Status')

Hahaha. It’s literally a movie.

This accurately depicts university exams

This is exactly how I feel at this moment!!!! Should I get the paper for you?

Can I tell this to some people I'm just sayin

Flight attendant prayer #aviationhumorpeople

Funny Confession Ecard: Lord, grant me the serenity to accept stupid people the way they are, courage to maintain self-control, and wisdom to know if I act on it, I will go to jail! laughing out loud

The story of my life

Yes, I know I need to work on my poker resting bitch face

But seriously though. Someone needs to film this shit. Or I can just write my memoir.

Best Friend Memories: Funny Friendship Ecard: We are so hilarious. I feel bad for the people who dont get to listen to our conversations and enjoy our hilariousness.

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I could really go for a glass of wine and a million dollars. Or just the million dollars I'm flexible like that lol

Laugh 'Til You Fart @ http://funnypictures247.com

Free and Funny Courtesy Hello Ecard: Oh I'm not bossy. I've been blessed with an administrative gift.

Foot and hand print art ideas stefpawlosky

So funny. Is it just me or are these hilarious?

Now that I'm a mom, this happens way too often "/

My brain is giving me...

Funny Ecard: My brain is giving me the silent treatment today.

It would be far more positive. #LOL

I guess that makes me a fatty. I have an overwhelming amount of patience with some of the most annoying people in the universe - people with problem feet.


welcome to life as a single mom.

Wildtree freezer meal workshops reduce ordering in pizza by 73.77%.  Just kidding-- I made that up.

This is me everytime I buy groceries .

I pretend to like people everyday. It's called being an adult and THAT is why we are allowed to buy alcohol. | Cry For Help Ecard

Since I work at a liquor store and deal with stupid, rude people all day, this is particularly relevant. "I pretend to like people everyday. It's called being an adult and THAT is why we are allowed to buy alcohol." Some eCards

First Time Mom & Dad: The Best of Some (ee) Parenting Cards (Wordless Wednesday FTM Style)

I totally feel this way. Can't you just not eat or eat cereal.