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The third degree burns in my mouth and trough will be nothing compared to the immediate satisfaction.

Free and Funny Farewell Ecard: I'll be damned if after the 5 longest minutes of my life, I'm going to

Every STINKING TIME!!!!

So true! EVERY single time lol! OCD at the gas station pump.it has to land on the right number or I'm annoyed lol

Welcome to the go-go world of Girl Scout cookie sales...

Free and Funny News Ecard: I just met a Girl Scout with a credit card reader on her phone. Shit just got real.

Anything but going on a diet...

I'm one flu away from my goal weight. Sad but true how many times I've thought this!

As evidenced by the 10 year old walking around with his dad in target today with his unedited rap music at full volume in his pocket.

Free and Funny Graduation Ecard: I believe basic common sense should be taught in schools since it obviously isn't being taught at home any longer.

Shoooot

Oh how I wish sarcasm burned calories! I'd be so wonderfully skinny! If being sarcastic burned calories, I'd look like half of an Olsen twin.

Multiple exclamation points are the written equivalent of jazz hands!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love to use exclamation points! Multiple exclamation points are the written equivalent of jazz hands!

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