Ha

I'd call you a douche bag but that would imply you could get near a vagina..

Yes, I know these things...except I dance and do karate at the same time...good times.

Yes, I know these things...except I dance and do karate at the same time...good times.

I love all of these, so true. Especially the 5th one

The only dictionary you will ever need

I stopped believing for a little while this morning. Journey is gonna be so pissed when they find out.

I stopped believing for a little while this morning. Journey is gonna be so pissed when they find out.

Women+are+like+iPhones:+You+have+to+touch+them+all+over+before+they+respond.+Men+are+like+Blackberries:+Rub+one+ball+and+everything+moves. Hahaha

Women+are+like+iPhones:+You+have+to+touch+them+all+over+before+they+respond.+Men+are+like+Blackberries:+Rub+one+ball+and+everything+moves. Hahaha

To this day I still wonder if that bitch ever moved out of Ludacris' way. | Confession Ecard | someecards.com

To this day I still wonder if that bitch ever moved out of Ludacris' way. | Confession Ecard | someecards.com

YES!!!! Oh my gosh!  I about fell on the floor!  One of Taylor Swift's ex-boyfriends should write a song called, "Maybe you're the problem..."

YES!!!! Oh my gosh! I about fell on the floor! One of Taylor Swift's ex-boyfriends should write a song called, "Maybe you're the problem..."

OK kids, let's go over this one more time. Mommy wants Snickers, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups & M&M's. Any questions?

OK kids, let's go over this one more time. Mommy wants Snickers, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups & M&M's. Any questions?

My last job employed former addicts, the chronically tardy, people who called in "sick", and suckups. Guess who got fired for having a bad attitude?

My last job employed former addicts, the chronically tardy, people who called in "sick", and suckups. Guess who got fired for having a bad attitude?

Laughter is the best medicine... except for treating diarrhea..  #someecards

Laughter is the best medicine... except for treating diarrhea.. #someecards

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