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God only gives us what he thinks we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm bad ass!

Most Funny Quotes : I'm tired of getting fucked in ways that don't end in an orgasm.

Which i dont but if you ever find any let me know because theres lots of things that need explaining. PP: sayings

How to Attract the Right Kind of Love

Funny You Couldn't Handle Me Even If I Came With Instructions T-shirt! Great sense of humor! Available in various styles, colors & sizes.


wtf: " fuck that shit" is a perfectly acceptable replacement for the word "no"

Not just hit. Punch in the fucking face.

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I don't want to hit you in the face I always smile. (Although I rarely feel mean things, I just always smile.

Maybe add another snack too. @rebelcircus #rebelcircus #meme #funny…

If you're waiting for me to give a shit, you better pack a lunch. Hell, pack a dinner & midnight snack while you're at it.

It's possible that both apply in this situation

Hang on, I'm still trying to decide whether I don't give a shit or if I don't give a fuck.

Rough week                                                                                                                                                     More

It's been a rough week. But I didn't need bail money and I don't have a body count, so it could have been worse.

Part of me wants this on my headstone ahahaha

Best short quotes 2015

Still the same thing. My only regret is that I didn't tell enough people to FUCK OFF and do it a lot sooner than I did. Live and learn.


The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it's too late ! Its Too Late Baby. You Are Stuck !

Many many times

At times, I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear in bubbles over our heads