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So true..especially when you are forced to get up at 5:30 in the morning -__-

I need to do this to a pair of boots. My kids must have watched Toy Story a 100 million times.

THIS WILL BE ME THE ENTIRE TIME I WILL BE HOME FOR READING WEEK. I miss my babies♥

It's probably good these don't exist because I'd be in trouble for using them.

ahhahaha. I take this as both meanings: 1. When i want to do stuff online here, it's too slow and inconsistent. 2. When i want to do other things, I waste time on the internet. It's a paradox!

When it's time for me to get a hip replacement - I'm going to Spain for two years.

Stephen Colbert tells it like it is OMFG I'M DYING LAUGHING...CALL 911 PLEASE

My favorite thing about Kermit…I wish I could make that face

Now You Will Never Unsee the Fat Dragon

It starts out funny but then, when you really start thinking about it, it's terrifying. Seriously. I'm out there in the dating world. All my first dates happen in VERY public places and I take pepper spray with me, fucking pepper spray, why is that necessary? Oh right because I don't dare trust that the man I'm going out with has been taught that sexual assault is wrong.

A minute?!?! We should have a national holiday on the day he invented bacon! XD No school for u public schoolers. Unfortunately I'm home schooled so I wouldn't get a day off. ;( but it would be a fun day full of bacon!!! XD