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I don't have a boyfriend, but sometimes I feel like this with crushes...hahaha, but seriously, watch it ;)

Listen, moron. If you're going to try and insult me, at least be grammatically correct. I'm too busy mentally correcting your errors to be offended.

I'd love to see you next time either of us has any money, free time, energy, or interest in leaving our homes. #ecards

"I would literally dislocate both of my shoulders in attempt to get all of the groceries in the house in one trip."