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This conversation sounds very familiar (sans the "whoop your ass" because Tucker would repeat that...in church)

You’re not truly a parent till you’ve swatted blindly into the back seat of the car, hoping to connect with a kid.

Frighteningly real.
from 9GAG

Gowing up: No way

Frighteningly real.

Funny Family Ecard: So you're 10 and have a laptop, iPhone, and an iPad. When I was 10 I had one thing to play with called Outside. That's what your fat little ass is playing with today.

I'm sorry, but this is hilarious
from TheMetaPicture.com

Thug Kitchen…

I'm sorry, but this is hilarious

I often worry about the safety of my children, especially the one that is rolling their eyes at me & talking back right now.

Yes, I know I'm the meanest mom in the world. They made me sign a contract before I could bring you home from the hospital.

You have to be just sneaky enough to make sure they're alive, but quiet enough that they don't see you and start with the, "Mom, mom, mom's"