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I wonder who's stalking me on Facebook. Can't be any worse than the real world stalker I once had.

Let's see...all I need is a carpenter, 20 bottles of nail polish, unlimited free time, and a magic credit card! Then I can make all my Pinterest dreams come true!

I remember that one time when I had Christmas lights on my car and was pulled over. He was jealous kuz I had all kinds o' colors flashing!

blunt cards about women | fully intended to have the house cleaned, dinner made, and look ...

I re-pin all of your stuff & you re-pin all of mine... Even though we've never met, clearly we are pindred spirits.

And then there's the train-wreck-reality-show quality to your life I can't drag myself away from--cause it's really real for real

If people could hear the five seconds after we hit end call, we would all have no friends.

I need a new perspective on life...or maybe just a nap. Yeah, probably just a nap.

I'm sorry there isn't a relationship status on Facebook that accurately describes our situation.