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Listen, I'm not calling her a slut. I'm just simply stating that if her vagina had a password, it would be 'password'.

I'll be damned if after the 5 longest minutes of my life, I'm going to 'let cool in microwave for 1 minute'.

I wish I could sleep but my stupid ADHD kicks in and well basically, one sheep, two sheep, cow, turtle, duck, Old MacDonald had a farm, HEEEEY Macarena!

Gotta do what you gotta do. Lacey McKay McKay McKay Schroder

When I go out in public looking like crap I throw on a pair of tennis shoes hoping that everyone will assume I've been working out.

Sometimes I look at my bathroom floors and counters and think 'How am I not bald ?'

I set my clock ahead to prevent being late...all it really does is sharpen my subtraction skills

Yes! that's why i have a separate board just for pinning things I've done from here ;)

Yep- when my husband isn't at home, that's so me!

Every girl on Pinterest needs a crockpot, a rolling pin, a bigger closet and a sugar daddy.