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If Don't Stop Believin' starts playing and the person you're with doesn't sing along, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. At this point, my dear, I should be able to bench-press a Buick.

I haven't been able to get my kids to pay attention to anything I've said all day. So, I'm gonna sit here and pretend I'm on the phone. That should do it.

The problem with the world is, intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid people are full of confidence. #ecard

Her nagging is a sign that she cares. Her silence means she's plotting your death.

It's not that I have a limited supply of friends. There are just a limited supply of people who don't piss me of when they speak. | Confession Ecard | someecards.com

Legos. In just about every room of the house.

I always say what I mean. I may not always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it. | Confession Ecard | someecards.com

When a woman says "do whatever you want" do NOT do whatever you want.

I'm not even kidding! I cannot stand this!!!!

All spring and summer she was a graceful, classy lady...then football season started.

LOL This is what I've been saying all along!