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Perfect.

Just kidding I'm on my cupcake. Just kidding I hate cupcakes. Just kidding I live for cupcakes. Just kidding I live for veggies. Just kidding veggies make me sick. Just kidding millennials make me sick.

a complete waste of resources.

Yep :) and look pretty especially pretty when I'm blacked out drunk laughing at dead puppies yeah pretty real and pretty photoshop

Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap. Same calories, cleaner kitchen!

Funny Seasonal Ecard: Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap.

Pausing on a Comedic Note | Designs By Katy

I was just telling my kids that we had to square dance in PE when I was in high school (Thank God we did that cuz I NEVER used that a day in my life after that).they were like, "what's square dancing?

I've decided to add "extensive experience in dealing with stupid people" to my resume. That has got to be a marketable skill!! | Confession Ecard | someecards.com

Funny Confession Ecard: I've decided to add 'extensive experience in dealing with stupid people' to my resume. That has got to be a marketable skill!

Everything Paleo!

I'd do anything to lose except eat healthy and work out. ( I work out so mine is just eat healthy.

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for it's health benefits.  The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Funny Confession Ecard: I enjoy a glass of wine each night for it's health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves. How do they know me so well?

z

Some days I am the queen of serenity. Other days, separating coffee filters pushes me over the edge. so true ;

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