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AHAHAHA oh god... haha.. TRUE!!!

Patient: the problem is obesity runs in our family. Doctor: no, the problem is that no one runs in your family.

its true. in fact i try having full blown conversations with my husband as he tried to fall asleep

yep, i should keep a pad and pen next to my bed so i can remember it in the morning

Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.

Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool. So true!

o god it's true sometimes!

Funny Thinking of You Ecard: Everyday I fall in love with you more and more. Except yesterday, yesterday you were pretty fucking annoying.

I laughed way too much at this...

Garden Shop Sign: "It's Spring! We are so excited we wet our plants!" Gail too funny.I all most wet my plants!

Oh GODS please stop! Nice pun, horrible display of religious insecurity!

On Halloween trick or treaters walk by and I'm like, you know your celebrating the devil's holiday!

mosquitoes funny quote

If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. Wouldn't that be great?

I'm a woman, hear me roar.

Logical proof that female = Iron Man! Then that means. Iron Man is a female?

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