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for a week he said! hahaha!

This anal leakage is doing a real number on your clothes. I recommend trying some kegels.

why do we extend ourselves beyond our heart's desire? i am working on being more authentic.

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: I love the feeling you get when someone cancels plans that you didn't want to have in the first place.

Hummm i never thought abougt this that way

dear opportunist water making you sleepy yet? ~rapist Opportunist dear opportunist water making you sleepy yet?

Blunt card

Can you die from constipation? I’m a little concerned with how full of shit you are.

Grammarly Blog | Grammar & Writing

Funny Encouragement Ecard: Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

I worry that I might be ugly. Then I look in the mirror and am delighted to find that I'm fucking gorgeous.

Oh heh.Funny Confession Ecard: I worry that I might be ugly. Then I look in the mirror and am delighted to find that I'm fucking gorgeous.

Laughter is the best medicine... except for treating diarrhea..  #someecards

Funny Get Well Ecard: Laughter is the best medicine. except for treating diarrhea.

A blast in a cup! (or a few cups....)

people always think I'm drunk after just 2 drinks. When in fact, it's not my fault I'm naturally just a God damn blast

Sorry, I'm not Adele. I don't wish the best for you nor do I want to find someone like you. I do, however, want to set fire to all of your stuff.

Funny Breakup Ecard: Sorry, I'm not Adele. I do, however, want to set fire to all of your stuff. Too funny

I def give too many chances...a big heart I suppose

Free and Funny Breakup Ecard: Another chance? Sorry, Im fresh out of chances. But I have this big middle finger that has been on back order for you.

@Adrianne Glowski Glowski Hultgren. ha!!! reminds me of our talk today :) thank goodness for sisters.

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a Punishment. Now as a Mom, Nap Time Feels like I Won a Vacation!

If I ever go missing, I would like my photo put on wine bottles instead of milk cartons. This way my friends will know to look for me..

Free and Funny Friendship Ecard: If I ever go missing, I would like my photo put on wine bottles instead of milk cartons. This way my friends will know to look for me. Create and send your own custom Friendship ecard.

OMGAWSH that is one of those things that make you go HMMMMMMM?!?!? xD  White Rock Sun - [ Sunday Funnies ]#

Jehovah’s witnesses don’t celebrate Halloween….I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming up to their doors.

Or a photo of the Executive whose bonus is based upon the tax break you are funding for his industry

For all the taxes they take out of my paycheck, the least they could do is send me a picture of the ghetto family I'm supporting to hang on my fridge!

I'm glad everyone is having such a delightful day walking slow as fuck in front of me.

I'm glad everyone is having such a delightful day walking slow as fuck in front of me. Or driving!

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