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    Artists impression (it says artists but this cut and paste photoshop hack would shame the efforts of the local junior school) of how the revamped Billingham Town Centre could look. To save time this can filed next to plans for Hover Cars, Moon Bases and Middlesbrough FC FA Cup Victory Parades in the "never gonna happen" drawer

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    The Olympic Torch Relay 2012. The biggest thing to hit Billingham since the Luftwaffe in 1942

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    John Whitehead Park - An oasis of calm sponsored by White Star Cider and Marie Stopes International

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    A bouyant housing market. Asking price here is in the region of 40,000 Superkings or nearest offer in Lambert & Butler

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    rightmove.co.uk

    The Toby Carvery just off the A19 - Voted by 82% of Billingham residents as the best restaurant in the world. Courtesy of @billinghamfacts

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    Billingham Art Gallery - Opened in 1967 by the visionary egalitarian local council. Closed in 2008 when they had run out of blu-tac to put the pictures up

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    Marsh House Avenue closed for Police house to house searches during a recent suspicious package scare. Subsequent forensic tests proved it was a bag of fresh fruit & vegetables

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    The Telstar affectionately known to it's former employees (for I am one) as The Broken Jaw.

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    Billingham War Memorial. Please Note: That is War Memorial not Wor Memorial. We are not Geordies

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    Final look at some potentially noxious fumes and a flare tower illustrating the industry that gave the town the totally made up sobriquet "The Iron Jugganaut"

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    The ever popular library. Always lots to see and do plus the heating is always on. Crayons can be supplied. Open until 7pm most nights.

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    Anyone seen getting on a bus since 1976 runs the risk of being labelled a deserter. "You will be named, you will be shamed and maybe brought back in chains" warned the jingle on local radio. Thankfully this particular bus was only going as far as Central Avenue

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    Pintail Geese spotted at Saltholme Marsh for the annual Sort Yer Christmas Dinner shoot event.

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    The "Asdas" sadly a term now lost to a generation and above Bingo. The towns biggest participation sport.

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    1,898 - The number of asylum seekers who've withdrawn their visa applications after performing at Billingham Folklore Festival. Courtesy of @billinghamfacts.

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    The annual Billingham International Folklore Festival used to regularly feature on BBC TVs Nationwide. Now it's only live and exclusive to cameras from the UK Border Agency

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    Billingham Macfisheries - The Greggs of 1967. Now a Pound Shop ... probably. Me out of picture by about 4 years

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    The (now refurbished) Ice Rink. A traditional 1980's Billingham venue for bruised knees, fractured arms, sprained ankles and broken hymens

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    Dawson House. Landmark circular tower block. Now the subject of a whole practical module for anyone taking a City & Guilds course in Floor Tiling and Carpet Fitting

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    The Forum Pantomime. Annual opportunity for residents to throw bottles of piss and Opal Fruits at Timmy Mallett and some gash off of Heartbeat.

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    Boyes Stores surpass themselves with the unveiling of their traditional Christmas window display. Voted Best In Class in the Shabby Discount Shop (North Tees) Category

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    The contractually obliged further shot of ICI cooling towers

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    Billingham Forum before the revamp. Spent most of childhood weekends here swimming, skating, 5-a-side. Once got Leonard Rossiters autograph in the foyer and also the place where Frankie Howerd told me and a mate to "bugger off and get out of my way"

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    "Twinned With Chernobyl". However, this additional signage was removed as a mark of respect to the people of Pripyat who have enough to worry about.

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    The first pedestrianized shopping precinct in the UK. Second only to Peterlee for the largest concentration of Pound Shops in the region

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