Categories

Come on in! Join Pinterest today...it only takes like a second or so.

More like this: ecards, greeting card and boss.

Your daily drama. Keep talking. I'm wearing my I don't give a shit face.

At my age, I have no more wild oats to sow. All I have is some shredded wheat.

Enter your rotten text here. Everyone has a f**king rotten side. Let's see yours.

An apple martini a day keeps the doctor away!

As your best friend, I swear to always pretend to be your lesbian lover when you're getting hit on by an ugly asshole in a bar.

As your best friend, I swear to always pretend to be your lesbian lover when you're getting hit on by an ugly asshole in a bar.

May I live to the age that I am a major threat behind the wheel.

They say there's no rest for the wicked. It's no wonder, why I'm so f**king tired.

Let's celebrate Easter by doing what rabbits do best.

I don't know about you, but I can't wait to raid the shit out of my kids Easter basket!

How do you like your eggs? In an Easter basket with every f**king candy known to man.

It seems your brain and your morals are in a competition to see which one can be the biggest disappointment of your life.

Happy Easter to all the families still on speaking terms!

Oh bless your little heart, you think I waste my time worrying about how you feel about me? No, I just feel sorry that you can't move on with your life.

If it wasn't for the gutter... My mind would have no where to go.

Maybe if we over-paid our teachers and under-paid our Pop artist there would better education and less bad music.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a bitch.... but then I just laugh and continue on with my day.

A girl can't live on wine and tea alone. We also need the occasional spanking.

Everyone needs a smart-assed, sarcastic friend. I'm so happy to be of service to you.

Ooops... maybe the karma fairy didn't catch up with you yet ...but the fat fairy sure did!

A friend is someone you can call when you wake up covered in someone else's blood.

Parenting: If it doesn't feel like torture, you're not doing it right.

I don't usually drink alcohol from a coffee mug, but when I do. I'm most likely concealing it from my co-workers.

They say there's more fish in the sea... I just Keep catching crabs.

You're just jealous that the voices in my head are more interesting than you.