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Funny Crap

Funny Crap

  • 352 Pins


Sunday #punday

Parenting truth!

Happy Hour Humor 57 | Hampton Roads Happy Hour


There's a certain age where you can no longer use the term "Good girl gone bad." It's more like "Her old ass should know better."

I sometimes watch birds and wonder "I I could fly who would I shit on?"

Why are you on the internet looking at other cats?

Whoever is in charge of making sure I don't do stupid shit is fired.

Hi, we understand you are 40 and still not married.

I finally know what skinny feels like. Hungry. It feels like hungry.

skinny feels kind of like hungry…. | I Love Funny Pics

Get adopted they said. It will be fun, they said.

No, you're wrong. So just sit there in your wrongness and be wrong.

Sometimes I pretend to be normal; but then it gets b-o-r-i-n-g, so I go back to being me.

Sometimes I pretend to be normal

Oh honey, you have gone beyond muffin-top; that's a busted can of biscuits.

Sweetie I'm not laughing at your bad luck, I'm merely cheering on Karma for doing such a great job of biting you in the ass...that's totally different...

I am fluent in three languages...English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.

Some people say I have a "short temper", I prefer to call it "A swift and assertive reaction to bullshit".

Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, bitch seriously what the fuck is your problem?

I found your nose. It was in my business.

Look, I'm trying to rant here. Stop interrupting me with "facts" and "reason".

One of the good things about growing older!!!

I do many things well, none of which generate income.

I do many things well…

You're my best friend. Until you start calling me instead of texting. Then it's over between us.

You made me laugh so hard...tears ran down my leg

I need a new perspective on life...or maybe just a nap. Yeah, probably just a nap.