Exactly ... yes! Give the chill pills to me.

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haha true

I Waste So Much Time

iwastesomuchtime.com

yeah!

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Sunday #punday

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Great parenting lies somewhere between "don't do that" and "ah, what the hell". A lot of truth to this.

Happy Hour Humor 57 | Hampton Roads Happy Hour

hamptonroadshappyhour.com

BAHAHAHA

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There's a certain age where you can no longer use the term "Good girl gone bad." It's more like "Her old ass should know better."

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I sometimes watch birds and wonder "I I could fly who would I shit on?"

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Why are you on the internet looking at other cats?

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Whoever is in charge of making sure I don't do stupid shit is fired.

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Hi, we understand you are 40 and still not married.

Saved by
Brad Sanford

I finally know what skinny feels like. Hungry. It feels like hungry.

skinny feels kind of like hungry…. | I Love Funny Pics

ilovefunnypics.com

Get adopted they said. It will be fun, they said.

TheMetaPicture.com

themetapicture.com

No, you're wrong. So just sit there in your wrongness and be wrong.

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Sometimes I pretend to be normal; but then it gets b-o-r-i-n-g, so I go back to being me.

Sometimes I pretend to be normal

lefunny.net

Oh honey, you have gone beyond muffin-top; that's a busted can of biscuits.

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Sweetie I'm not laughing at your bad luck, I'm merely cheering on Karma for doing such a great job of biting you in the ass...that's totally different...

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I am fluent in three languages...English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.

Saved by
Brad Sanford

Some people say I have a "short temper", I prefer to call it "A swift and assertive reaction to bullshit".

Saved by
Brad Sanford

Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, bitch seriously what the fuck is your problem?

Saved by
Brad Sanford

I found your nose. It was in my business.

Saved by
Brad Sanford

Look, I'm trying to rant here. Stop interrupting me with "facts" and "reason".

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Just curious if sissy is a bad mom too?! Helped w/ her recovery didn't you? Why help with something you don't believe in? LOL yah that's what I thought

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I do many things well, none of which generate income.

I do many things well…

themetapicture.com

You're my best friend. Until you start calling me instead of texting. Then it's over between us.

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