Stopped by the house I grew up in and asked the owners if I could look around. They said "no" and slammed the door in my face My parents can be fucking rude
6 years ago when I was in 7th grade, I gave my teacher the wrong number to call my parents when I got in trouble. The dude on the other line actually went along with it!
I'm a young high school teacher. Went on a date to a restaurant and a whole bunch of my students were sitting across from me. They kept looking over, smiling, and giving me the thumbs up. Awkward
Ellie-THEY BETTER DO THIS FIR MY MICROWAVED CHICKEN NUGGETS
"My brother is a single father of 2.His daughter just had her first sleep over with her friends.One of them started their period and my brother freaked out and rushed them all to the hospital. ":
One time thriller came on the radio and i started dancing. I looked to the car next to me.The guy just stared at me. Then he joined in my dancing. Made. My. Day.
I bet my girlfriend that she couldn't eat an entire pizza by herself and if she could I'd take her out for a day. She looked at me and said "I was single for six years. I've had practice."Then she won
Mom (raising her voice slightly so she can speak to my dad down at the other end of the grocery store aisle) : "do you guys want any chips?" Dad (at full volume) : "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR DORITOS":
"I once saw someone skipping rocks and eating a sandwich on the beach. He tossed his sandwich in the water and bit the rock and froze and I just watched him die a little inside :("
I'm a guy and a girl held open a door for me. To mess with here I walked by and said "I have a boyfriend." She paused then said "so that's what that feels like..."