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More like this: burt reynolds, mike rowe and sean connery.

HAIRY CHESTS I WANT TO CRY ON

Dudes with lush, fluffy chest hair that looks highly tear absorbent.

Mark Ruffalo? More like Mark Buffalo, look at that hairy hide. Speaking of buffalo, I wanna drive his body to the verge of extinction.

Hairy Paul Rudd after reading "Our Bodies Ourselves"

This is the look Sam Elliott gives me after listening to my dumb problems, and right before shoving my face into his moist chest hair.

Super hairy Nicolas Cage. Long, long before his oscar winning role in Wicker Man.

Holy Moly! More like David Lee Rug.

If you put a gun to my head, yeah, I'd have to say Alec Baldwin was extremely hairy.

William Holden. If I told him he had a hairy chest I hope he would Holden it against me!

Hairy Lorenzo Lamas. Not a joke, he played a character named "Lance Cumson" on Falcon Crest. How was that allowed?!

Hairy Hasslehoff. His expression is like "Yeah, I'd be up for all kinds of crazy sh*t, seriously anything."

Steve Martin's chest hair. Its coloration and fluffiness make me think of a beautiful latch hook rug of the desert.

Hairy, damp Steve Martin. This photo makes me want to put a live chicken in my underwear.

NO. NOT ACCEPTABLE. NO FAKE CHEST HAIR!! This ridiculous "chest merkin" is an insult to naturally hirsute men everywhere and unfit to absorb a single molecule of my tears.

There's nothing BALD about Alec Baldwin's amazingly hairy chest! It's like a furry forest and I want to LARP there.

Paul Stanley's chest is so hairy it almost counts as a textile.

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Blimey! H.R.H. (His Royal Hairiness) Prince Charles shows off his fuzzy majesty.

Prince's chest hair. There's just enough here to cry on. Then we'd go on a pegasus ride.

  • Rhonda

    I totally agree with this statement. :D

  • Rhonda

    PS--How have you neglected late '70's early 80's Paul Stanley chest hair? It was full of glitter and unicorn fluff, I tell you.

  • Stacey Nightmare

    Hmm I'll think about it.

  • Rhonda

    Please do! :D

Pierce Brosnan. Did you know men weren't allowed to be photographed in the eighties unless they exposed some chest hair while riding on a yacht?

Tom Jones. In the song "What's New, Pussy Cat?" he's actually talking to his chest hair, which he nicknamed "Pussy Cat".

Marcello Mastroianni. I'd like to feel-ini that chest hair! Mangia!

Hairy Ian Gomez!!! I want a life size print of this on my wall so I can run into it and pretend he's giving me a hug.

Jemaine Clement in Gentlemen Broncos. What's hotter than a dude with full, fluffy chest hair? A dude wearing a BLUETOOTH!!! (swoon!)

Sean Connery. If I were that lady, I'd mash my face into his chest hair so hard my nose would break.

I'd like to visit young Ricardo Montalban's lush & hairy Mantasy Island.

Charlton Heston's hairy chestin'. That white towel is my spirit animal.

The Bee Gees. FUN FACT: Each of my boobs is named after a Gibb brother.