Dudes with lush, fluffy chest hair that looks highly tear absorbent.
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I couldn't resist. Sorry Meryl!

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Who is this mysterious, outrageously hairy fellow? Whoever he is, I would certainly shag his carpet!

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Mark Ruffalo? More like Mark Buffalo, look at that hairy hide. Speaking of buffalo, I wanna drive his body to the verge of extinction.

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Hairy Paul Rudd after reading "Our Bodies Ourselves"

Ladies, it's on. I give you Paul Rudd.

This is the look Sam Elliott gives me after listening to my dumb problems, and right before shoving my face into his moist chest hair.

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Super hairy Nicolas Cage. Long, long before his oscar winning role in Wicker Man.

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Holy Moly! More like David Lee Rug.

Vintage Male Celebs - Part 28

If you put a gun to my head, yeah, I'd have to say Alec Baldwin was extremely hairy.

Vintage Male Celebs - Part 27

William Holden. If I told him he had a hairy chest I hope he would Holden it against me!

Vintage Male Celebs - Part 25

Hairy Lorenzo Lamas. Not a joke, he played a character named "Lance Cumson" on Falcon Crest. How was that allowed?!

Vintage Male Celebs - Part 5

Hairy Hasslehoff. His expression is like "Yeah, I'd be up for all kinds of crazy sh*t, seriously anything."

David Hasselhoff | TopNews

Steve Martin's chest hair. Its coloration and fluffiness make me think of a beautiful latch hook rug of the desert.

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Hairy, damp Steve Martin. This photo makes me want to put a live chicken in my underwear.

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NO. NOT ACCEPTABLE. NO FAKE CHEST HAIR!! This ridiculous "chest merkin" is an insult to naturally hirsute men everywhere and unfit to absorb a single molecule of my tears.

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There's nothing BALD about Alec Baldwin's amazingly hairy chest! It's like a furry forest and I want to LARP there.

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Paul Stanley's chest is so hairy it almost counts as a textile.

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Blimey! H.R.H. (His Royal Hairiness) Prince Charles shows off his fuzzy majesty.

What's more attractive - hairy chests or polished pecs?

Prince's chest hair. There's just enough here to cry on. Then we'd go on a pegasus ride.

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Pierce Brosnan. Did you know men weren't allowed to be photographed in the eighties unless they exposed some chest hair while riding on a yacht?

pierce brosnan shirtless

Tom Jones. In the song "What's New, Pussy Cat?" he's actually talking to his chest hair, which he nicknamed "Pussy Cat".

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Marcello Mastroianni. I'd like to feel-ini that chest hair! Mangia!

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Hairy Ian Gomez!!! I want a life size print of this on my wall so I can run into it and pretend he's giving me a hug.

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Jemaine Clement in Gentlemen Broncos. What's hotter than a dude with full, fluffy chest hair? A dude wearing a BLUETOOTH!!! (swoon!)

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Sean Connery. If I were that lady, I'd mash my face into his chest hair so hard my nose would break.

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I'd like to visit young Ricardo Montalban's lush & hairy Mantasy Island.

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