"Every girl is expected to have caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall butt, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, and the arms of Michelle Obama. The only person close to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. Everyone else is struggling. - Tina Fey"

"Every girl is expected to have caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall butt, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, and the arms of Michelle Obama. The only person close to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. Everyone else is struggling. - Tina Fey"

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"A party without cake is just a meeting", Julia Child. I find baking a cake tends to invite parties.

New Girl: Rules to True American

Presenting the Rules to New Girl's "True American" Game--Plus One of the Best Things Schmidt Has Ever Said

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Behold, I have added my own caption to condescending wonka. jbemmz Behold, I have added my own caption to condescending wonka. Behold, I have added my own caption to condescending wonka.

I'm Sorry For What I Said When I Was Hungry T-Shirt

I'm Sorry For What I Said When I Was Hungry

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I'll clap when I'm impressed - quote - life - funny quote - the truth

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