oh

Every woman needs a man that will ruin their lipstick and not their mascara. The important part is that you have more "ruined lipstick" than "ruined mascara"!

Need this!

The yin yang bathtub is ideal for couples who want to spend quality time without encroaching on each other's personal space. The unique yin yang design separates the tub in two equal halves - creating the ultimate in "his" and "hers" bathroom luxury.

lol

Funny Encouragement Ecard: Some mornings I wake up and think, yep, today's the day I punch someone square in the throat.

I like those halfway bitches.

Free and Funny Friendship Ecard: We can only be friends if you are kind of a bitch. Not a full blown bitch, because that's no fun. And if you're not a bitch at all, that won't work either. A halfway bitch. Those are my kind of people.

happens..

Funny Confession Ecard: There is nothing quite like turning into a fucking ninja because a piece of your own hair landed on your arm and you thought it was a spider.

Some people have been offended as I have told them this - well I used a different word than stupid but I don't sugarcoat that it was their bad decision that got them into trouble. I have made too many bad decisions to tiptoe around now.

accurate

Thank you for calling AT My name is Habib Akmed Mufassa Osama Akmed Habib. How may I misunderstand you and piss you off?

stop

Check out this funny photo of a flowery needlepoint that's quoting DMX with the words 'Y'all Gonna Make Me Lose My Mind, Up In Here, Up In Here', on NickMom!

Never don't give up.

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